On October 24, 2021, the Linked Descendants group of Coming to the Table hosted a panel on Contacting and Connecting with Linked Descendants. The panelists included four linked pairs (the descendants of enslaved people are listed first): Ella Honesty and Tim Kilby; Jimmie Lee Kirkpatrick and De Kirkpatrick; Meredith Coleman McGee and Suzanne Campbell Lowe; and Wanda Cahoon and Leslie Stainton.
The conversation was so rich and moving that we highly recommend that you watch the video here. No written summary can begin to capture the conversation.
Here are some lightly edited excerpts posted in chat during the meeting.
Ella Honesty & Tim Kilby
Ella: When Tim contacted me, I was elated and so glad to hear what no one else could tell me, the answers to my questions about my ancestors that I had had since I was a little girl.
Tim: The first steps to contacting a linked descendant were scary. How would they respond or receive him? He understood how difficult it can/would be for an African American to receive an invitation from a white person to begin a conversation. He felt he must take the risk in order to connect.
Ella: There will be leaders of light that help shine for others. To have a good testimony helps others do it and not be afraid.
Jimmie Lee Kirkpatrick & De Kirkpatrick
De: Former high school classmates, De called Jimmie Lee after seeing an article in the Charlotte Observer. Jimmie Lee said he knew a lot about De’s family. De was stunned — his family never spoke of their enslaver roots. They were pro-Confederate. There are racists in his family. This was all new information. De says this has been a gift.
Jimmie Lee: Jimmie Lee took De to see his ancestor’s grave that was on the plantation. Nearby was the slave cemetery with rocks on the graves. It was a life changing experience for both. They are on a dual journey. Their story is a healing story in so many ways.
Meredith Coleman McGee & Suzanne Campbell Lowe
Meredith: Meredith was thrilled to hear from Suzanne, she was the first to accept the family as relatives. They met at the statue commemorating James Meredith, a warrior for justice, first Black man to integrate Ole Miss. Suzanne and Meredith’s enslaver ancestor was a founder of the Confederacy, a colleague of Jefferson Davis.
Suzanne: Suzanne was always told her enslaver ancestor was a great man, but was never told the bigger picture until a cousin shared a memoir by James Meredith and their descendants. Suzanne reached out to James Meredith, with some trepidation, and he replied, I have been waiting for this call all my life. Suzanne learned more about her white family from her Black cousins.
Wanda Cahoon & Leslie Stainton
Leslie: Leslie had boxes of information, including an 1862 series of letters that detail enslaved people seeking liberation. The story inspired Leslie to find their descendants. A local historian put her in touch with the family. It was a cold call, but it went well. Leslie went to their family reunion that summer. Wanda was there, among the hundreds of people attending.
Wanda: Her ancestor became a union soldier, but he came back to Georgia. Her family has always been a strong family, a spiritual family, a selfless family. She explained that Leslie is part of the family now. More of her family are coming to their reunions. There is no DNA link that has been found but they are related.
Wanda: Leslie apologized for her family. Wanda responded, don’t apologize or sympathize, recognize it happened, and empathize with us.
[There was a spirited conversation and chat around apology. Sharon Morgan chimed in: Apology is a nice thing, but it is not enough. Must do something, especially the white people. Not do what white people want to do, but what the Black community wants them to do. Must be a collaborative process.]
Some comments from observers:
— Thank you for sharing your stories. I am filled with hope and joy knowing that this coming together can be done. It just takes the willpower to cross the bridge and hold hands in unity and peace as a family.
— Your stories are heartwarming, inspiring, and very encouraging for those of us who are hesitant to reach out.
— Your stories are so powerful and shine such bright lights of hope. Thank you for sharing and in this way helping us on our journeys seeking truth and healing.
— This will fuel my ongoing journey and actions for a long time.
